Friday, September 4, 2015

My 100th Blog Post: Farmgirl Sisterhood Friday Post 15



My 100th Blog Post

Farmgirl Sisterhood Friday Post 15

 


Wow, I can’t believe that I am writing my 100TH blog post! Even more astonishing is that I have a blog! Truth is… I have always considered myself less than others, not worthy of attention, and sometimes I feel that I do not deserve to be loved. This is part of the “causes and conditions” of my childhood and young adulthood. Let’s face it… I know I am a handful, how could a gal born during a hurricane and named after it not be a whirlwind of chaos with a calm resilient center.  

Writing this 100th blog post is rather difficult for me because, I don’t like to talk about myself. It is easier to discuss a book, an artistic passion, or whatever floats my boat as long as it is not personal. Yet, those personal things always sneak out in my writing.

Art by Ginger Dawn Harman 2015

I was originally going to brag about my best friend in the whole wide world! 


However, that is a personal side of me and is very private. I am not too sure that people want to know about my best friend “Hedgehog.” 



Moreover, quills might poke up at the mention of this person’s nickname. 
 







Art by Posie Meadows


Sometimes, I like to pretend that I am a little girl in a knight’s suit of armor and when those dark demons from the emotional past appear, Hedgehog just pops up and loans me a quill as a sword to defeat and heal! 


That is what Hedgehogs are best at! 

(They are horrible at blowing up balloons for decorations like today. Therefore, I will not talk too much about Hedgehog…) 

So what are the lessons that I have learned since I opened up to the world of social media?






 Here are the top three lessons:

  1. Not everybody is going to like you or what you write, and that is OK. I still love the words from my gal Sybil who says, “If people don’t like me then that is their fault.” 
  2. Each blog post is just one moment in time. Some of those blog posts I have written are downright embarrassing. I look back and wonder what I was thinking to publish stuff about my husband in Korea or that I was struggling with a bad day. But if you're planning to be a blogger for the long haul, you'll learn that each article represents a moment in time. You'll grow as a blogger, and your readers will join you along the way. There's no need to go into those old blog posts & dress them up to fit your personality today. I do admit that I have deleted some.
  3. I have learned that emotions can be stirred from blogging. It is gratifying and humbling.  I will never forget when my stats rose above 1000 clicks in one month. I thought I was at the top of my game with blogging about books, conducting interviews with authors on the radio, and then I was humbled. Ugliness happened. I had several attacks on my blog, Amazon book reviews, and a porn book written and published under the name “Ginger Dawn.” This happened after I stated that I had signed up for a course in writing. Please note that I DID NOT WRITE that Book! I became angry, bitter, and most of all hurt! Yet, I am grateful for the experience because I spoke up and fought to reclaim my name. I used my voice and no one can take that away from you. If you are a foster kid or are an adult survivor, you might understand why a name or voice is important. After all, it is all you have! No one can take away your voice or power unless you allow them.

I have also had some surprises from my blogging experience! I am always excited when I hear that a book review or my post has helped someone. 


Here are my top three surprises:
  1. To this day, Fight Card Ladies Romance holds the record for my most viewed blog post! Now who doesn’t admit to enjoying a bit of romance and mushy stuff? It was a fabulous book and I have read it 3 times!
  2. Just when I was ready to give up blogging and my stats were at ZERO, I chose to not give up! Aw Shucks this sure has brought a surprise because I am currently experiencing the highest views ever! Oh and I am having my first story published this November! However, I remember that lesson learned above and honor my intentions for starting a blog.
  3. It is surprising how much I enjoy having a blog and hopping to other blogs! I have joined a few blog hops hosted by my Mary Jane’s Farmgirl Sisters. I get so much joy from learning how to cook, sew, and farming inspiration.  In addition, the emotions of family milestones that people share such as adoption, a birth, and the sadness of a death often create a heart burst inside as I read these intimate posts. It surprises me how words and life experience connect us and teach us many valuable lessons.  


Truth is…blogging is a wonderful experience and this post is a personal celebration. Not because it is my 100th blog post! It is hard to explain. Victor Hugo, says it best in his book The Hunchback of Notre Dame.


“The women laughed and wept; the crowd stamped their feet enthusiastically, for at that moment Quasimodo was really beautiful. He was handsome — this orphan, this foundling, this outcast, he felt himself august and strong.”


Yeah! I am not just a middle-aged woman who was a foster child, survivor, born during a hurricane, or a mushy huge-hearted handful. I am beautiful and I am using my voice and words enthusiastically by blogging. And today I feel 100% whole!


 

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